HELLO OCTOBER: PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME

Dear October,

After what September had been to me, I really look forward to spending time with you. I haven’t had the best of times during September’s stay and in all honesty, I could do without the memories as well.

First of all, I wanna tell you that I have some expectations from you. I am not asking to be perfect for me; I however expect that you wouldn’t be as bad as September was to me. September was kind of an eye opener for me, I, however feel that these lessons could have come in a better way. I will not be morose and spend my time whining about it though.

I understand though there will be sad times, few nostalgic ones as well, I am prepared for it. I know I can’t avoid them. So I will just face them instead of trying to run away from them.

Honestly, the entire year has been rather bad for me than good. Started off on a bad note and I really wanna end it on a good one. I hope that the process starts from you. Now that it’s just three months away from the year end, I don’t wanna and I cant probably handle shits anymore. I just want to be done with it all and I just want it to end on a good note, not even asking for a perfect end. I know I don’t deserve that. 

Just the kind of end that brings a smile to my face, not even asking for a laughter. Just a smile. A small will do as well.

Like the old saying goes “We can’t go back and change the past but we can start from now and make a brand new end.” I am ready to leave everything behind and start something new from now on and make a brand new end. I want you to do this with me. In fact I need you to do this with me. 

I really wanna make changes and tell myself, it’s the time to be happy!!!!!!!!Once again.

I will not blame you if things go out of hands but I will deffo be saddened.

I have a lot of wishes and expectations from you, not to mention all the things that I wanted to ask you and say to you. I do however understand that all my wishes and expectations can’t come true. I’d be fine if they don’t. I guess I’d understand.

 

I know I am naïve; stupid, sometimes arrogant and I have an ego that is larger than life. I can really be a prick and a pain in the arse. I am annoying, I lie, I cheat and piss people off more often than I make them happy. Yes, I do have all the qualities to be hated than loved. But inside I am not as bad, just sometimes being this way works much better for me.

I might put in a smile on my face and show that I don’t care, I just might more often than not but I am just a boy who just wants to be loved, even if it’s for a while. 

Hope you understand what I wrote. Thanks a lot for listening to me.

Take care,

Adios!!!!!!!

P.S. – Please October!!! Please, be kind to me.

GOODBYE SEPTEMBER: YOU WON’T BE MISSED

Dear September,

You came into my life with a glimmer of hope and a lot of promises. I couldn’t have been happier welcoming you. I went through a lot of discontentment in August and I thought you’d come with a new start and better things.

Life however just picked up from where I left it off in August. I won’t deny there were a lot of moments that I would cherish for my entire life and there were a lot of things that I intend to keep in my mind always I, however fell off more often than standing up during your stay here. I will not blame you for this though.

Life in general sucked while you were here, though a lot of situations were created by my naysaying mind and no one else had a hand, I however cannot hide my woe.

You weren’t kind to me though I had a lot of expectations from you, and honestly, I thought that I’d have one of the best times with you around. But that was not to be.

There is not much that I can say or do about it now, but I only hope that you weren’t as bad with others and the next time when you come around I hope you bring me a bit more delight than this.

I will be waiting for you, but before I go, let me just tell you that you won’t be missed while you’re gone. I am sorry!!!!!!!!

Take care,

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was just a bit of prelude to how the month of September treated me.

Things did not go very well during the entire month. Football wise it sucked, I mean a big time!!!!!!! When I say football I reckon you know what I mean by that.

Yes!!!!! Liverpool FC. A promising start to the season faded away quickly, they failed to win a single Premier League match right up until the end of this month. Proper gutted for the entire month and to top things, fought with a friend because of this as well. Honestly, it was a nasty one as well. I wouldn’t wanna get into the details of it though, but let me just tell you, it was worse than you probably can imagine.

And life. Well what can I possibly say about that, had one of the worst times of this year. I had been sick for almost the entire month, which meant no football. I did write a bit though, that probably would be the only saving grace.

Being sick and confined to the bed is not the best of feelings. Ain’t it. What could possibly be said about this, but just to count days and hope that things will get better soon. I am sure they will. The hardest part however is waiting while the change is in process. Saw my expectations quashed and flushed down the drain. I always tell myself that I will never expect anything out of anyone. NEVER. But this heart never listens I guess!!!!!!!!!!!! Once again it was broken, but I guess I dealt with it pretty well. I must pat myself on the back for that!!!!!!!

Lying on the bed however can teach a lot of things, just like it taught me the virtue of patience. Patience hasn’t been my strong point, however two weeks inside my room, on my bed has changed it. Haven’t mastered the art though, still settling in to it slowly and gradually.

Learnt a lot of things, saw the real side of a lot of people. I still won’t say that I judge people, I don’t do it neither will I ever. I, however have a better understanding of people than before.

Though the month gave me a lot of displeasure but I will admit that it showed me a lot of things that I did not know before or I was kind of ignorant about. Some lesson learnt while a lot forgotten. If there is one thing I had to pick out as the highlight of what my time this month has taught me, then it’s obviously has to be this:

“Love yourself then only you can love others………………….”

True!!!!!! But sad, this is something that I have failed to follow for most part of my life, I will not get into the details of this I’d just assume that you all know what I am talking about (with a hope that you read the previous blogs, if you haven’t then I suggest you do. It’ll give you an idea of how things have been with me all along.)

Alright!!!!!!!!!! That is how fucked up September was. But as they say no man is totally unhappy, “if life makes you cry then it gives you the reason to smile the very next moment……..”

Well, I just came up with that. I might be a bit of pessimist inside; I do however hope a lot out of life. I always believed when times are really bad it means happiness is closer than I might realize and they are just waiting for the right time to knock at my door. I hope I am correct on this one though.

Yeah!!!!! It’s always better to stand up and face the reality than being a gloomy Gus and whine about everything.

Well, that's it for now. Hope to see you soon. Till then stay safe. Take care. 

Adios!!!!!!!!