JUST MY THOUGHTS???? MAYBE NOT.......

It's been a while since I have not written here. Well, it's not because I didn't wanted to write, but more so because I didn't have the time and there was a lot going through my mind. So, I thought of taking a break would be the best solution, however it's not.

I have been thinking and looking back at how things have shaped up in my life so far. It's strange to see how things changed so swiftly, with a blink of an eye everything that I knew was gone. Here I am stranded in my own thoughts, mostly about what prompted these changes? Is it for the better? I don't know, however it hurts a lot, that's for sure. Am I coping with it well? No. It's a simple answer for me. I haven't been through the best of times lately. Though there is not much I can change about it, I do hope that it gets better. If it does I’d think that yes, life after all is fair to everyone.

It’s saddening to see, or rather strange to see how small things can change life completely. One minute I felt important and worth, and the other it was all gone. The feeling of being unwanted, which has haunted me over the years have once again crept up. Times have changed and so did you, I might have made some mistakes for sure but I never intended neither did I ever wanted life to be this way. Yeah, I know I am a fool, oh wait!!! That’s an understatement, I am a freaking twat, and I know it!!!!!! All I wished was things to get better and I thought I was going in the right direction; however I guess our destinies were different from the beginning or maybe we were not meant to be.

It’s always never a great feeling to see people parting, especially when they mean so much. It hurts to be honest. Yeah it did. I have always been a great advocate for change but not this time. This is one thing that I dread the most and honestly, I could be much happier without it. But then again it’s just me!!!! I don’t control my stars neither do I control anybody else’. Life’s twists and turns, no one ever understood it neither anyone ever will. Right now it all seems like a movie; I mean all the dramas and the controversies. Jokingly I once told a friend “if life doesn’t have the dramas then what’s good in it?”
There is copiousness of drama right now and trust me, i was so wrong. It's not good at all and I'm surely not enjoying it.

Reading what I wrote back and forth and I am still not sure what I want to write or what is the whole purpose of writing this. One thing however is for sure, that I am a sucker when it comes to writing and all I needed was a way to just get few things out of my head, which I did. A bit relieved now, however not happy. I always believed that everything happens for the good and I will stick to my belief. As they say “If it’s not happy then it’s not the end.. It’s just the beginning of good things to come” I’d always hope that it is, in fact just the beginning.