MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY.... BE THANKFUL....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Appreciation is one of the easiest and best ways to make a person happy. What does it take??? Just a small thank you, or may be few words showing how grateful you are for what they have done for you. Or may be sometimes telling people and giving them credit for what they have done and how they go about doing things. It’s a small thing, but always guarantees a smile on someone’s face.

Every relation, however ordinary it may be, should have its good share of gratitude or at least the expression of it. Each and every one of us owes thanks to someone or the other. From the very day we come into this world till the very last time we breathe, there is something or the other to be thankful about. Be it, the food that our parents put on our table, or the money they spend on us to provide us with our needs and wants, or to teachers who teach us, everything from the first letter to the full sentences and paragraphs, or to the friends who stay with us, create wonderful memories and sometimes bittersweet experiences, we owe almost every step we take to someone.

Gratitude puts across itself in expressions, verbally and in doing something back in return, which of course are deeds actions. When doing something in return seems hard, then expression of thanks is the best thing to do. Like the words we say or write when someone dies, which is expressing gratitude. You don’t necessarily have to die to show them how thankful you are, but expressing it with words can do a lot.

However we all, including me, find it rather difficult to do just that. We rather find pleasure in criticizing the way things are done, or finding some fault or the other, or maybe just ignoring the effort that has been put to get the work complete. It is human nature after all, these things comes easy to us, things like criticism, back talking and probably, just being ungrateful, they just sound so much fun, and we actually enjoy it more than being grateful.

While we all know favor is never too small, and the least we could do is acknowledge it. It doesn’t mean to part with some cash to show it, or a huge action or may be a return favor. The usage of the phrases like “Thank you” “Good job” “I appreciate what you did” Or even a small “Well done” sometimes might denote just a polite convention; it however shows the universal belief in the importance of creating a grateful attitude towards who deserves it, however small that thing is. And if someone is doing a favor to you, it doesn’t necessarily means that they are expecting something in return, but they are just doing it out of goodwill. And however small it may be, a small gesture of acknowledgement will never go to waste.

Imagine yourself doing something for someone and in return you just get nothing. No words, no expression or not even something in return. Would that feel very good??? I guess not. Even I wouldn’t like that, nobody will, to be very honest.

For example, we have a peon, who does everything for us. From fetching files to serving us water and tea, preparing our lunch table, cleaning them and also doing the dishes after we are done, he does almost every little things, even things he is not supposed to do. Like, buying us veggies in the evening, booking our gas, delivering it to our houses, fitting our lights, cleaning our homes and what not, he does almost everything. He says he likes doing it, so he does it; however he never gets anything from anyone, which miffs him sometimes. He silently complains about it as well sometimes, even though he doesn’t say it out loud, it shows on his face. Most of the times however, he just chooses to ignore we being ungrateful for what he is doing, may be because we are his bosses after all, that however doesn’t mean he likes it. He doesn’t and no one would.

Well yes, he gets few words of thanks and appreciation from me time to time; I am a sucker with words; however I rarely fail to show him my gratitude, not by expressions or words, but by deeds. I never forget to bring him something or the other whenever I travel outside. You should see the kind of smile it brings to his face. Happiness lies in those small gestures, that we tend to forget most of the times. While money and expensive gifts do bring a smile with a sense of pride, nothing beats these small gestures. The happiness it brings and the satisfaction that follows is just priceless.

If you wanna make someone happy today; do one simple thing. Thank them for what they did and tell them what it means to you. I can guarantee you a hundred percent, it will work. Then look at yourself, and if you still don’t feel that contentment in you, then I don’t think anything else in this world would. While no good man wants to hurt or give anyone, who has done something for him, pain; an ungrateful can hurt the feelings of his benefactor. And if you could avoid being ungrateful, things will for sure, start getting a lot better.

Let me finish with this wonderful quote:

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”

-Marcel Proust.

WINE, RELIGION, HARDWORK AND THAT CONVERSATION

Sometimes you learn about life from things you least expect, people you meet leave huge impression on you sometimes, and it has in fact happened a lot to me. Honestly, I am very happy with all that, merely because these kinds of experiences help you learn in a better way every so often. Conspicuously because they happen for real, not like something you’ve read in books or saw in movies. Life is all but a movie, may be an amalgamation of dramas and what good is a drama if there are no twist and turns and some tears along the way. They all actually make this movie worthwhile, don’t they???
Anyways, being a banker and staying away from home has done so much for me and brought so many changes in me, well most of them in a good way of course. Though it is really hard to stay away from home and all the comfort, I think everyone should at least once in their lifetime, live outside, come out of the comfort zone. I will not however say that it does a lot of wonders and I can’t assure that it will always do good, but I can tell one thing for sure. It will teach you a lot of stuff, and if you look at all the things you’ve gone through and all the experiences positively; then I am sure, there will be a lot to learn and the changes it will bring will rather be for the good than the bad.

So here am I, been here for a while and living alone, and as you know I hardly cook for myself, simply because I can’t cook. I am lucky to be surrounded with good people in a strange land, and there is this guy, who comes and cooks for me a lot of times, well actually almost every day. He is just a normal guy, who is always smiling and cheerful, humble and good; a nice guy to hang around with. But there is a lot more to him than what meets the eye. His story is quite a long one, and nothing short of a typical drama you see on TV. He was once a very successful businessman and a respected figure of this town, who had a knack of spending lavishly on clothes and watches. He had knack of drinking expensive whiskey and wine and would travel a lot, within India and abroad as well.  He loved spending money on good things for himself and for his family as well. He once had a fleet of cars and a big house. He had a reputation and a name; and as the saying goes, once you earn a name and respect, things become easy. That was his story about 5 or 6 years back. Now fast forward to the middle of 2013, that was when things started to change for him; and how that change, changed him, and I think it happened  for the good.
Like all dramas are incomplete with a good amount of twist and turn, and of course some agony. This story too had its moments. And guess who would probably be the catalyst of all that was going to happen. Yes of course, someone he trusted the most, someone very close to him. He was cheated and swindled off all his money and that did not stop there. A huge amount of his property was sold off, so were almost all of his cars. In a span of about 6 months everything he made and everything he created fell apart. He has lost the reputation, his name and the respect people had for him.
And he stooped from being the most adored, to being a person no one would want to be associated with, just in matter of few months time. Everything changed for him, and if you look at him now, he looks nothing like when I met him for the first time. It saddens me to see him like that, but at the same time I feel happy because he still wears the same smile, and carries around the same charm.

For quite a while now, he would come to my house every evening, cook for me, eat a little and that too on my insistence and leave at around midnight. Though I knew everything that had happened with him, I never asked him or never tried to know why he spends all the time with me. Maybe because I had someone to cook and do all my things, I was at a luxury of my own, so I never bothered. I tried bringing this topic up, however I just couldn’t do it; I felt something was stopping me from doing that.

One fine day, my time came. We sat down for a drink or two, and that was when we started talking and yes, wine does things. From being a rather quite guy, that is how I behave here, though my friends back home would disagree, suddenly I realized that I have transformed into a smooth talker.

Me: You always come here, and leave late at night, it’s not like I don’t like it, but doesn’t your family say anything. What happened to you? Is there something wrong?

Him: I assume you know everything about me and I don’t think I need to tell you. It’s just that I don’t like being with anyone, especially my family. I just wanna be alone at peace for a while.

It shocked me a bit; I however knew what was wrong with him. So I tried my best to continue with the conversation.

Me: I know, I was told about everything, and I understand you feeling low right now. But what’s with your family?? Did you guys fight or something?

Him: If it was a fight I would have been home by now, this is something more than that.

Me (Now really taking keen interest in it): Tell me about it, maybe I can help.

Him: I don’t like anything right now; I can’t stand sarcasm every night. Every word they say hurts me. I know I have made mistakes and if there is anything I could do to change it, I would have done it with my life. But I can’t change it, and I have to live with it through my life, I guess.

By this time I had figured out where he was headed so I didn’t ask him too much about the detail. And I think I made the right choice, for I kind of knew that if I did, he would have broken down and I was never and I am not still good at consoling anyone.

Me: I know you can’t change it but there must be something you could do. I mean, this can’t go on. Come on, we all make mistakes.

Him (With a deep sigh): Let’s see. Something will work out, I don’t know how but I think there will be a way.

Me: I just don’t see how??? I mean, you owe too many people and too much, and with the kind of work you’re doing, I don’t think you’d be able to square it up even if you you’re working your ass off your entire life. If I were in your place, I wouldn’t even know what to do, I might have just ran away, or might have just killed myself.

With all said, I could really see the pain in his eyes. I knew he was trying to hold back his tears, and I could notice his voice breaking a bit with deep sighs. His deep sighs made me a bit edgy again. For a moment I thought we should stop talking and just go out and roam a bit, just to see if that makes him better. But it seemed like he wanted to share this. And as you know, I was all ears to him.

Him: whatever happens there is one thing that I am never gonna do in my life, and that is killing myself. I can’t let these things win over me. I’ve fought too hard to give up that easily.

Me: I think you should pray then. Pray every day, ask him the guidance and I am sure he will lead you.

Him: You know I don’t believe in religion; however I think there is someone who is in control of everything. But I don’t think religion or praying can help me. I believe in myself enough, I think I will have to put a bit more hard work and one day I will be there.

 Me: But you should try it once, you know. It will help you and might make you feel better.

Him: I don’t believe in all that. I rather believe in doing things in a right way than asking and praying, even if I am doing something wrong.

Me: But religion teaches you to do right things and it makes you a better man, you know.

Him: I feel religion makes you weak, it makes you dependent on prayer and someone else’s strength. I would rather work myself than asking someone I have never seen or heard. I’d rather be an honest man, without any religion. I’d rather blame myself for my failures and work on setting them right rather than, asking someone and praying, and eventually blaming them.

I was lost for words by this time; I really didn’t know what to say anymore. As I hadn’t been much of a religious person all my life, all I believed from the beginning was prayers and nothing much.

I think he had figured out that I was a bit perplexed. So he went on without waiting for my next question.

Him: I believe humanity should be the religion and everybody should follow that. Once everyone realizes that being good as a person would bring them a lot closer to their Gods than praying and offering something, then the world would be a much better place. I would have been a religious person, if only religion was not amended according to the comfort of a man.  For example, every religion teaches to love every human being as they love themselves, but it doesn’t happen anywhere. Every religion teaches us to be peaceful and make peace and love, not war. But a lot of wars happen because of it. If it is religion that teaches you to be peaceful and love everyone, then why don’t we do it? Religion is rather dividing us, when it should have been the one thing to unite everyone.

What he said to me made a lot of sense, and I kinda agreed to it.

Me: What you are saying is right, and I do agree, but there is a God who created everything, you and I and all of this. You should pray to him, you must do it sometimes.

Him: I do believe that there is a God, but I don’t pray to him, I just help myself and I know if I help myself he will help me. What is the point of praying if I don’t do anything good? I need to believe in myself and do what is right then I think god will be automatically close to me.  If I am not good as a person I cannot be good in his eyes, and to be a good man I don’t need a religion, I just need to do right things and be sincere and honest in whatever I do, and that will, in the end solve all the problems, religion will not. We should teach our kids to be a good human before we throw religion at them.

Everything he said kind of made so much sense that for once, I started thinking about everything that happens around in churches, temples and mosques. And for a moment I was in doubt about the whole entity of religion. In all honesty, I also feel that humanity should come first, and a good and humble person in closest to the God. I am however, in no way giving up on my religion, I however do feel the same that religion should be in the heart not outside, you don’t need people to know how religious you are to be close to God, but you need him to see how good you are as a human being. And if you cannot be one, then no one can save you. Not even the strongest of God, not even fasting or praying.

I also believe that religion has been taken for a toss for a while now, it has been twisted and turned a lot, I guess that is giving boost to people who would rather run away from it. People often mistake religion for praying and going to church, temple or mosques, offer a lot of things, but at the same time fail at being a good human. In that process they tend to forget that to be religious, you have got to be a good person first. If you cannot be that, you can never be religious person.

Though it took a bit of religious turn however, which was never the intention at the first place. I was rather shocked to know how people hit rock bottom and work their asses off to get back on their feet. Every man, who do ordinary things, might not have necessarily lived an ordinary life. There is story to every life and there is an inspiration in everyone. We just need to appreciate what we have and keep going on. If we can do that, then I am sure the world as we know it, will become a lot better.