AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER VI MEET MY MATES.......

A month old in this city now and I am still taking things slowly and learning a lot of new things. Things are on the better side now. Been able to gel well with my roommates and it's been going quite good as of now. Though there are a lot of things that I have still not accustomed myself to, maybe because a lot of things here are way too different from Delhi. The lifestyle and everything. Things are just way too different. Well, what else can I expect this is a small town on the border of Gujarat. In all honesty however, this city is still better than what I had expected. Nothing against the city, but the name itself isn't really attractive. 

So, after a month, I have roommates and a place I can call home. A place I can return to in the evening saying “I am going home”. If you remember I had told you about the house and I believe you pretty much have an idea how the house looked like. Well, it is totally different now. It's clean and every sink has been sorted. So things are just fine with the house right now. I sometimes feel kind of lonely and awkward living with people I hardly know anything about. But these people have been quite nice, they've done quite well in making me feel comfortable and honestly, I do feel comfortable most of the time. Apart from odd times here and there in between, I am okay with it.

Okay, so I told you that all of them work in banks and the best part is, all of them have different, very different personality from each other. It ranges from being funny to being a bit oversmart. I mean, they are poles apart, which I think is a good thing as it makes staying there a bit more interesting. 

Alright, so the other two guys are quite fine, they are nice to talk and in every aspect they look and seem to be one of those normal bankers. Not much into their works, I don't mean that they are not hard working, they however are not one of those obsessive about their work. They do have a bit of sense of keeping work and life separated from one another. Apart from that they are quite nice to talk to, I mean, unlike the Boss of the house, these two can  strike up a sensible conversation, which always is a welcomed gesture to me. I like people with a good conversational skills, maybe because I suck at it. 

The "Boss of the house" is a different personality from others. Never met someone quite like him, he's one in million type of guy. Well, we call him "Sirji". Why????? Because, he is the oldest tenant in the house, he actually was the one who found out this house and the others joined him later on, like me. So, you could say he is the ultimate authority in the house and we don't interfere much in what he says. He also has a knack of not listening to people, not that he's rude or arrogant or something, he just don't listen to anyone and even if he does, he doesn't seem to take anything in consideration. 

Let me tell you a bit more about him. Though it hasn't been very long and I am yet to understand each one fully or know their personalities better. There are however a thing or two that I have so far observed. "Sirji" as we call him, is a kind of person who doesn't spend much of his money. I mean, I have seen him going through the entire day without even spending a single buck. Doesn't even drink a tea or coffee with his money. He's like if someone is willing to pay for him then he doesn't mind having but if he were to pay he'd rather not have it.

Okay, did I tell, that there is a TV in the house but no cable connection. So we other three discussed to have a cable connection and we agreed on it. We called the operator to come and get it done. But "Sirji" had different ideas. Oh, did I tell you how much the cable connection was for? 200 Bucks and we were supposed to share it equally, which he did not agree to, saying it's just a wastage of money. Come on, it's just 50 bucks. We even told him not to share it if he don't want, but then he'd say that it will just increase the electric bill. So after a long discussion he sent the cable guy back saying we don't want it. The rest of us could not say anything else, after all he's the Boss.

He's a kind of person, if you leave a light switch on he'd just go and turn it off without even asking if it's still in use or not. He'd just turn it off. He's like that, every night at exactly 10pm he'd just switch off the lights in the entire house. Why?? Because we don't need these lights on at night, it just increases the light bill and he doesn't want those extra expenses. Sometimes annoying, however no one says anything about it. So, I don't wanna be the one to always complain about things. 

Oh, well yeah, I had complained about a few things or two, when I entered the house initially. However I was told later that it was of no use so, I just sort of stopped it. He is a kind of person you just cannot indulge yourself in a meaningful conversation with. Half of the things that he says doesn't make sense and the other half, just plain useless things. He talks a lot though, mostly without making much of a sense and the other times he doesn't understands what we say, maybe because I don't make sense sometimes myself. So, it's of no use talking to him most of the times.

He's getting married on the first of February, and let me tell you, he is friggin excited about it. He'd sometimes bombard us with all kinds of questions. Like, who should be treated as the most important after marriage? What keeps a woman happy? How to keep married life and work life in a balance? Is it okay if my wife is not virgin? How would I find out if my wife is a virgin or not? Well, these are just one of those questions. I mean, how are we supposed to know all these. We are not even married and honestly, not even close to getting married. And sometimes it's better not to answer him, because if you do, then that would attract another question.

Oh, yeah I have not even told you the best thing yet. This weekend, I went to a hotel to stay a night there. I wanted to watch Liverpool's match, so I went, we're gonna talk about it later. On Sunday afternoon, he sends me a text.

Sirji: Our tiffin centre is closed, so wed need to eat somewhere else.

Me: Ok.

Sirji: Okay we'll go to Krishna Restaurant (The second best in the town) and eat there. This would be a Christmas party from your side.

Me: Okay. (Well I had no other option to be honest, after all it's our festival).

I mean I was so shocked when he sent me that. We hardly know each other, even if we knew, I don't think I'd be comfortable enough to ask him something like that. He however had no hesitation. Which was okay, but funny and a bit awkward.

The most annoying thing that he does is that, whenever in discussion about something, he'd speak in agreement only to change his mind later on  not to forget he's oversmart. He sometimes acts like he knows everything and sometimes speaks even when he doesn't.

So, this is the kind of people I live with. Glad that finally I am going home for Christmas and will be away from all these things. Really looking forward to eating home cooked food, honestly the food here is not bad but it's a bit too spicy for my liking. I mean for one or two days its fine, eating that every day however is a bit of a problem for me.

So, goodbye to all that for a week, I am going home. For the first time, Goodbye isn't hurting me. Thank God.

Well, I will see you soon. Till then take care and stay safe. 

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.- Finally, I am happy.

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER V NEW HOUSE BUT THE SAME OLD FEELINGS

“Life never promised to be a walk in the park and it will never be. There will be stones, thornes and everything thrown at you along the way. Times will test you and bring you to a point of breaking. It never promised it's going to be an easy ride. Life is everything, the choice is yours on how you wanna see it and how you wanna walk through this.”

After about a month of Hotel stay, I have finally found a house or sort of a house. I am supposed to stay with three guys. All of them working in different banks. Though it's not the most exciting thing, it however made most sense out of all the possible options I had.

Let me brief you with all the options I had. First, I can stay in the hotel for the entire three months time, though it's not gonna cost me huge bucks it's expensive however. Second, I can rent a room on my own. The glitch however is that I am here for just three months and no one would keep me as a tenant for that short time. Third, I can stay in a guest house, which is cheaper than a hotel. The problem however is that the guest house is in an area where I had been advised by my staff not to go or venture alone. So, staying there is a far cry.

Finally, after a long thought about it, I decided to move in to the house. Excited???? Hmmmmm... Not much, but the situation called for it, so it has to be done. I had no other real options left to be honest.

With my peon, I went to the hotel checked out from there, paid the bill and headed straight to the room. Okay, upon entoring the house what I saw seemed to me like a nightmare. The house was filthy and it's not an exaggeration. It looked as if no one ever entered the room for years let alone clean it. Mattresses all over the place and clothes hanging here and there, dust all over the place and the worst, every sink was blocked and water clogging in each of them. Hmmmmmm....Thoughts of going back to the hotel hit me hard, but I had no other options as the hotel had been booked in advance from  8^th to the 20^th of December. I couldn't go back there either anyway.

So, I left my stuff there and went back to work, hoping that things will work out in the evening. I seriously needed to talk to the other guys. I mean the condition of the house was just a bit too bad for anyone to live in and I am not sure how they'd been doing that for all that time. Nevermind, reached office and it's an usual day at the bank. Talking to clients, opening account, verifying transactions etc.

Not this but the house looked something like this.

Returned home quite tired and spoke with the guys, first, small bit of intrduction with the guys. Let me tell you, this is going to be interesting. Each person with a very different personality and attitude towards things and life. Ummmmmm... Well, we'll talk about these people in detail later on. Even I need to know them better to write something about them anyway. With a bit of uncomfort, I went in, changed and sat down with them for a while. We talked for a while, then I realized I needed to buy few things, so we went to the market. It was just about 10-15 walking distance and these people prefer walking than taking an auto or a cab. I got myself a mattress and a few things neccessary for my use. Then I cleaned my supposed area and made my bed. Well, I asked them to do it as well. Honestly, I am a buit fussy about all these things. It was not in any way about being a new guy speaking too much, but this was something that had to be done. So everyone did. By 11pm at night, the house looked a bit better. Hmmmm...... At least I could sleep there now. So I slept.

After a while of living there, now not just the house looks livable but it's kind of clean now. Happy with it. The house is not bad, in fact it's very good, the locality is good and the people around there are pretty decent. Landlord seems to be a great man. He'd ask me every day if there is any problem or something. He'd always tell me “you are an out of towner, you don't look like us and people's behaviour towards you is not always going to be good. Some will taunt you, some will tease you or some will just pull a trick or two.” Well, this is what happens to us in most part of this country. Kind of used to of it now, however it never ceases to piss me off whenever it happens.

He'd go on to add “if you never need any help, just ask us straight and don't hesitate. You are my guest and it's my responsibility to take care of you”. Well, just the kind of words you want to hear in a place you don't know anything about. How much of a help they'd be, I am not sure. However saying that is enough for me to make me feel better and I felt better for sure.

The usual routine of waking up, going to office, coming back in the evening and having dinner at night. Oh well, yeah, dinner..... We eat our dinner by 7 or 7.30pm at night. Can you imagine 7.30 and dinner done. Even I was kind of shocked when they took me to eat at 7.00pm. My roommates come from work and head directly to the mess to eat. Well, maybe that suits them, but me, I frigging sleep at 00.30 am not at 10.00pm like them. Yeah, they sleep at 10 pm. Believe it or not. I used to eat dinner at 10pm in the hotel. Hmmmm.... That's gonna take a bit of extra effort to adjust to.

This is how I am still feeling, only sometimes though

There are a lot of things that needs to be sorted, from my side as well and their side at the same time, but we all share one thing in common. We all work in banks and all don't like our Managers. Don't know if that happens in every bank but all of us don't see eye to eye with our respective Managers for different reasons. At the end of our working hours we always find an hour or two to discuss about what goes inside our respective banks and how we deal with people and stuff. So, you can say so far it has been a smooth ride at the new house for me. Gelling well with the roomies and adapting well to the change in eating routine and sleeping as well.

The Guys are pretty decent and quite well mannered to be honest. I mean yeah, they live a lifestyle which is way different from mine, but they don't seem to complain about anything. Oh, well neither do I. Maybe because it's just been few days but there seems to be a kind of mutual respect among us. So, all is not bad around here.

The only problem is, these people live close by, well at least for me they live very near. Their houses are like 100km away from here, about  hours drive to be precise and I live frigging 1000km away from here and it takes friggin 14 hours to get there. You see what I am saying is, every weekend they all go to their homes and spend the weekend there. Which simply means that on weekends I am going to be alone. As I told you before, weekends are the time when I feel lonely the most. I can't however help it. They have a family and they need to see them just like I do.  Normally everything looks fine on the outside but inside it's all the same. I mean at the hotel I felt the same. Weekdays are fine as I work and sleep early so time just flies by. Weekends however has a different story to tell. Wake up and stay at home the entire day all by myself and sleep alone. It's not something I am very good at and it's gonna take a while for me to get used to. So, I have finally founf a home with few people to live with. Still the same feeling of loneliness stays. Things have got better for sure, however nostalgia grips me sometimes and I know, it will do so for a long time to come. Whether I like it or not, I will have to live like this for a while. So, it's the best for me to get accustomed to it sooner rather than later. Trying my best. Yeah I am.

Everything said and done, it's been more than a month since I have left home and yeah, adjusting slowly everyday. Everyday there is something new for me to learn, some new things that I need to get myself accustomed to and something new that I need to tell my parents to. There is always something new. This has so far been quite a good journey and I hope to get maximum out of it.

Christmas is knockin on the door now and I am still not sure about going home or not. I think I will but still there is a small bit of doubt that I might not be able to. I don't want to get into all that right now. I will rather just wait and see what happens and then maybe let you know about it.

That's it for now. Will see you soon. Till then take care and stay safe.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER IV LIVING WITH STRANGERS…….. MAYBE NOT

It's been about three weeks now since I reached this place. I am still in the hotel. Things are better now and everything is coming along quite nicely and smoothly now. Still in the hotel means, that I will not be missing any Liverpool match, and still up to date about what happens in the world of football. The only thing I crave for is internet connection and a laptop.

Okay first of all, let me congratulate my hero “Lionel Messi”. I guess everyone knows that he has broken the 40 years old record set by Gerd Mueller. Great achievement from the maestro. Whatever people might say, Messi is the best and his greatness cannot be denied. Even if he doesn't win a Worl Cup, for me he will be the best ever. I have not seen Pele, neither do I care about him much, and I have not seen Maradona playing either. From the footage I saw, I can make out both were exceptional but for me, Messi is the best. Period.

Okay enough of football... Let's move on to my experiences. Here I go.

Living alone can really help in experiencing new things. I have been through that kind of experience for past three weeks now. It's been a good learning phase so far.

Living in the hotel means I'd be eating with strangers every day, which I have been doing for past three weeks. Well, there is one familiar face that I bump into once or twice every week, apart from him, I have been eating with different set and kind of people every day.

Some just don't bother about anything and they just get to the business, eat and leave. While there are others, well....... Curious people, who care to ask where I am from and what I am doing here. And few with a good sense of conversation. So, you can say every dinner outing means, slight or long conversation, which stretches way beyond dinner time.

I haven't had any bad experience so far in this city, bar from one off incident when a guy refused to sit on the same table with me. Reason? He's Hindu Brahmin, a pure vegan lad and I, a tribal from Manipur. That was one off incident, apart from that, nothing of that sort has happened so far. As i told you, the people here are humble.

So, every day I interact with someone or the other. Our conversation ranges widely from Politics, Religion, Marriage and life in general. I mean everything. Interacting with these people gives a very good insight about their minds and their perception about things and life. A lot of people here don't know where Manipur is and when I tell them I am from Manipur, the first question they ask me “Which country is it in?” I don't blame them either. I understand, the part of country where I come from is not very popular and most of the people don't know anything about. And those who know about it, know just a bit too much that sometimes it becomes embarrassing at some point of time. Well, to know what I am talking about then just do a bit of research about Manipur and you'd know everything.

I have met some people, who can really conversate. Though not much educated, but still they have the knowledge about things and they are willing to expand it. While some of them just ask stupid questions, to which I usually have no answers. I do however try to prolong the conversation just as much as possible. Honestly, I love interacting with new people. It helps me in a lot of ways as well. First thing, I have told you I have never been confident about myself, well talking to people help me work on that. Second thing, it helps in building conversational skills. Soon enough I am going to deal with the customers a bit more than this and my job will no longer be just limited to opening accounts and verifying transactions for the day but I will soon be handling people seeking loans and everything. In the long run, these little conversations are going to help and I know it.

Most of the evening is well spent with people from different fields and areas and conversating with them. There have been few evenings though, when I sit alone and eat. That is when I don't feel like talking and when I miss home. When I feel like getting away from all these hustle-bustle, then I just go to “Feel Good Restaurant”. Situated just below the hotel I stay in, this is the best Restaurant in town. Who's who of every field come here and only the rich dine here. The place is quite decent and expensive for the city's standard. It's never crowded and I always manage to get a table alone. Sometimes in the corner and the others in the centre. I have never talked to anyone there, but have been through a lot of uncomfortable stares coming my way.

By the way they look at me, it seems obvious that these people are curious about me, but they just never come up for any conversation or anything. Yeah, and when someone stares at me, I really feel uncomfortable. I just avoid them, or at least try to and just get busy with my phone most of the time. But in all honesty, I like the place; the only problem is this place doesn’t serve non-veg food. It's been a month since I haven't had one of those and I am dying to have one of those meals at home.

Enough about the meals, the more I talk about it, the more I crave for it. It’s better if we just let this one be.

So it’s everyday job of mine to sit in a hotel and either talk to someone or listen to what people are talking about. They all talk in Gujarati I can however make out what they are talking about. Some discuss their family problems and some discuss business. Some discuss girls and drinks, some discuss studies. Amidst all these, there were few who managed about a sentence or two about me. They don’t usually look at me while they do, I can still make out what they are doing. Well…. I am smart like that. Just kidding, I know I am not.

Every day for about 30-45 minutes I connect to a lot of strangers inside one room, listen to them, sometimes empathize with them, sometimes laugh at them, sometimes feel sorry for them, sometimes feel happy for them and sometimes I cannot help but be angry at them. And sometimes I cannot help but be inspired by their stories. Well, some of them are really inspiring. I get to all these feelings in without even talking to them. It’s strange sometimes to connect with so many lives and even more so, knowing that I have never spoken to them.

Sometimes, few people leave a kind of mark that I can’t help but think about them while going back. Then I can’t help but think “well I am not the only one who is not happy with the life”. There are millions of people like that in the whole world, just that I don’t know what they go through and what they do. There will surely be people who might be living much more miserable life than I am.

These little dinner night outs taught me a lot of things and I am thankful to all these people. Learning from these people every night about a thing or two. Do I still feel that I am still living with strangers…… Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Maybe not.

Well.... That's it for now. I will see you very soon. Just got a news that I might be sent to Delhi for some training program. I hope they do. It seems it's two weeks training starting from the 17^th December. Just hoping that they send me.

Pray for me. See you very soon. Till then take care and stay safe. Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER III WELCOME DECEMBER

“Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain.

Though your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on. With hope in your heart.

And you'll Never walk alone. You'll never walk alone.”

It's December and I guess you all have guessed how I might be feeling right now. So.... I thought of starting with a song that constantly gives me hope through despair. A song that has been constantly telling me to walk on with hope in my heart.

In continuation to my stay here. It's just been a week, but seemed awfully long to me. From waking up at 1 pm to waking up at 8 am. From being with my family and asking them to do everything I wanted to being alone and doing everything on my own. From dining with family to dining with strangers inside the hotel. Things are changing and how they are changin. All I can say is, everything is changing a bit too fast for me. Sometimes it's hard for me to take it in my grasp but I am trying my best to adjust to it. Adjusting in rather well I should say.

Things have changed. This boy is finally on his way to becoming a man. No more behaving like a kid, no more being taken care of. It's not easy, but it is for the good and it has so far brought more good than bad. Loneliness and nostalgia might take a grip on me on certain occasions, I wouldn't say things have been all too bad during this time.

Let me tell you something about this place anyway, though I am sure that it's not going to be the most interesting thing you've ever read. This place sucks in every department. Mind you, I am not exaggerating about it. This is a fact. The place might suck, the people here however are rather humble. Most of them illiterate and just about able to write their names. The branch as I said is a small one and there is not much to do. This is not one of those regular Banks you go to, where people flock in groups the whole day. It's just different, maybe because of the locality. They say it's a tribal area and so does it seem to me. Most of the people are either self-employed or are into agricultural activities. So i reckon you could guess the kind of customers I deal with.

It sometimes annoys the shit out of me, when everyone comes in with a blank form in their hands. I understand they don't know how to fill it up but as a human I sometimes do feel annoyed when they ask for it every now and then. I guess I am entitled to one or two odd moments of losing my cool here. There is a good thing about these people however, as i told you before, they are illiterate and humble, so they know how to respect people. Really, I mean no one gives a shit about a Bank Manager but these people do.

It happened once, while I was out to have dinner at night I bumped into one of our clients. I did not recognize him but he did. He straight came to me, greeted me and introduced me with his entire family. All the while, they were very polite and nice. I kinda liked it, I mean who would not.

Things are kind of running smooth at work, I get along well with everyone here and the work is light, so everything's okay on the work front. I will not complain about it. I am in fact lucky to be unlucky. People often complain about the workload and the shits they go through in the Bank job. But here it's all different. No work load, no pressure. Learning things at my pace. I forgot to tell you that I am a very slow learner and I have been lucky that people around me have been rather patient about it as well. So, I am learning......................... However very slow and gradually. Taking a small step each day. One more thing, the kind of work I do needs precision and I don't wanna take any chances as well. One mistake can lead to a serious shit. So, not rushing into anything but just slowly taking baby steps each day.

Slowly the winter is approaching, though it's not cold here but December means, it's Christmas time. Christmas means being with family, having a good time and creating memories. This time it doesn't look like it's gonna happen for me. Already disheartened with that. Everyday I speak with my folks at home and everyone tells me, it's cold and it has set the mood for Christmas already, though it's still a good 20 odd days away, but people have already started playing Christmas songs, singing Carols and most of all, the Advent Christmas programmes in every Church. I am missing out on a lot of thing and I look set to miss being at home on Christmas day as well.

It's already killing me to know that I will for sure miss it and I am looking set to go through a long December. Do I miss home? Yeah I friggin do. If God granted me one wish, then I'd wish for a time with my family. A time, to be with my folks and not have to leave home again.

I sometimes feel life is being cruel to me. Not blaming the guy above though. I mean, just imagine, we are six siblings, one big family. Constant visits from friends and cousins were the part of growing up stages. But now, everything's changed. Each one of us is away from home and busy with our respective lives. I can tell Mom and Dad would be missing those days a lot and so are we. I mean none of us is used to living away from home, and that includes my Dad as well. So you can tell, everyone's feeling just the same way I am and I think we are entitled to be frustrated once in a while about how the life has turned out for us so far, not every time though.

When we were kids we always talked about our wishes and what we wanted to do when we grow up. Having a respectable job was the top priority for everyone and not to forget living together forever. Well, we all got our first wish granted and the second however, looks highly unlikely. Especially when we all have jobs that guarantee change in location every now and then.

Ahhhhhh.... After all, we are humans, never satisfied with what we get, always looking and wishing for more. That is what I am doing right now. All the while I wished that I get myself a decent job and now that I have it I wished if it was the kind of job where I wouldn't have to leave home. That's how I am and that's how we all are. Always wanting more that what we have.

Never mind, so here I am look set to spend my first Christmas away from home. I am gonna miss home for sure and miss a lot of things. I wouldn't blame myself if I cry a tear or two during this time. As a human, I guess I can do that. I am not ashamed to cry as well, it doesn't make me a girl for sure and hiding my emotions does not make me a man. It does however makes living with frustrations a bit more easier and takes the load off from your shoulders. It's okay to cry......... Lads, always remember this. Cry when you feel like.

Still amidst all these, I have not given up on the hope that I get holidays and go home. Honestly, I am still secretly planning my travels and checking train schedules every now and then. However  even if I get home I am sure that I will not be ther for long, just maybe a day or two, but that will work just fine for me. I can live with that, but not being home on Christmas. That would just be a bit too much to handle for me.

Holidays and I need to be home for Christmas. I really do.

Hoping and praying that it happens for me, if it does then I would be the happiest man. Aha!!!!!!! That was a bit out of line I guess. Let me rephrase myself here....... Oh well............ It would make me really happy. And to sum everything up....... I wanna see myself happy.

That's it for now. Will see you soon. Till then take care and stay safe. Happy Holidays.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. - Pray for me, I really need those right now. Thank you. This should have been published a long time back.  

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER II: DAHOT..... HERE I COME

As Conficius says "A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step." Here I am taking my first step towards what would be constant journey for at least next 3-4 years.

Finally I got my posting orders and it is officially confirmed that I will be posted for three months in a semi urban city of Dahot. I know the name is not exciting. It doesn't excite me much as well. I am due to leave tomorrow morning and yes, not at all excited about it. Not even a single bit. I did not expect them people to post me there. Come on, I don't speak Gujarati neither do I look like a Gujarati. How am I going to survive there. I thought it was not fair on me, but then I never expected life to be fair. So, it's okay. What's got to be done, got to be done.

My bags are packed and I am ready for the journey. I had been told that it's just three hours journey by bus, so that doesn't sound like much on a problem to me.

Morning dawns. I did not even sleep propely the last night. All night I was thinking or rather worrying about how am I going to manage even if I reach there, where am I going to stay and what am I going to do. All these questions, with no real answer. Not much hopeful that I will enjoy my time there and secretly bracing myself for tough times ahead.

By 10 am I left the house, my home for past 10 days, saying goodbye to everyone, kind of feeling sad, well saying goodbye always makes me feel sad. Can't help it. Reached the bus stand. Oh yeah, i forgot to tell you the worst part yet. There are no trains and no deluxe buses to the place I am going to. BEAT THAT!!!!!!!!!! The only way of reaching there is by state trasport buses, which are not a very good option for travelling. After a short wait the bus is ready to leave. On board people from all sphere. From the rich to the poor, from locals to immigrants, everyone present. But all had one thing in common. They all looked at me like they've seenn a ghost or something. Constant stares and a bit of talking within themselves about me and after some uncomfortable look from my fellow passengers, I am finally at my seat. So, earphones on and music played as loud as possible and I am ready for the three hour journey. But little did I know that it takes around 5 hours not three. Screw the guy who told me it took three.

This is how the bus looked like

Okay, everything set. After a long friggin journey which actually was for 5 hours but seemed like more than a day or two. I finally reached the City. Oh well, this is the kind of City with no cinema hall, no mall and not a single place to hang out. Things don't look exciting at all. Trust me, it does not. If only I knew a better way to explain how things are and how the city is.

All said, I finally reached my branch with all my luggage. No more uncomfortable stares and no more feeling like an Alien. Finally the destination. Huge relief!!!!!!!! In all honesty, I had no other options as well. No place to go, no one to turn to. Well, so the branch people, they are nice I must tell you, took me to a hotel. They say it's the best hotel around in the city. Ummmmmmm.... I beg to differ though, it wasn't the ones we get in Delhi, Hyderabad or a place like that, in fact in Ahmedabad for that matter. It was kinda nice though, not bad for the price to be honest.

So there I am, all set to bein a hotel for at least a week or two until my staff find me a place to stay. Honestly though, I kinda like it in the hotel, I have TV and a company. The guy next to my room is nice, he has been in the hotel for the past six months ummmmm.... Maybe more. A nice guy to talk to. He seemed to understand what it feels like to be away from home among unknown people, at unknown place. He's been through this, so I guess he knows it right.

He told me a lot about the city and the people. Well, good insight for me and now I know what to do or what not to. He told me pretty much about everything and now I have a clear idea of how things should be done around here. He also asked to contact him should I need anything, I am not sure if I am going to do that or not. It made me feel a bit better though.

Once again the morning is here and I am already off from my bed at 8 am in the morning. Can you believe it, I mean I am one of those who wakes up at 1pm in the afternoon and eats lunch straightaway. That is all set to change. Not a welcomed change, it has to be made however.

First day in the office, nervous about working with new people but excited at the same time however.

Office peon came to pick me up.Reached office and then the normal routine of introduction with all the staff. Everyone at the branch seem quite humble and nice to talk to. They don't speak much of English, which I did not expect either, not very good in Hindi as well. So, no communication gap. Everything seems just fine, I am treated like a boss on my first day. It felt nice, I am afraid that I might get too used to of it though. Still I am well grounded, after all it's my first day. It's kind of nice, in a way that they all tried their best to make me feel at home, which is always a welcomed gesture.

After a long day, there was not much to do, not that I knew how to do things anyway. But the first day syndrome and it seemed awfully long to me.

It's 5.30pm now and all ready to leave. Peon is ready to drop me to my hotel. I am happy that the day is finally over, there is a sense of sadness however. I mean, I have no home to return to but the Hotel.

This is how it is, at Ahmedabad I had a home to return to but always wished if when I return home there were people I know. Here now I wish if only I had a home to return to, not even asking about people I know. Wishes and more wishes, not sure if they are gonna come true or not, at this time it doesn't looks likely to come true and I am all braced for it, neither do I have any choice.

Back at the Hotel room now, watching TV and talking to family over the phone and dinner is done. Finally, ready to retire to my bed now. But before that, just a little thought. Okay, so things did not go the way I had expected or even imagined, they will not more often than not. Is there anything I could do about it? NO. Even if I had a choice, I would have stayed on and faced what comes my way. So, good or bad just need to accept how things are. But it sure is a lesson, Yeah!!!!!! A friggin lesson. I know if I can survive here then I can survive anywhere.

A bit of displeasure about what's going on but accepting the fact that “Everything happens, happens for the good”. And it better be.

With that hope, I am off to bed. Hope the new day is better than today. Still thanking GOD for everything though. After all people study 4-5 years for a job like this. Not that I am gloating, it is a fact. I am lucky to be here. Just need to concentrate on what I am getting rather than moaning about what I am not.

Things will be fine, I am sure they will be and days will get better.

The diary will continue and I hope to see you all very soon. Till then take care and Stay safe.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OF KEEPING MEMORIES AND MOVING ON

There are times in everyone’s life, when we all look back at certain situation, place, person or time. Some fondly while a lot with a bit of sadness and sometimes with grave pain inside. Everyone goes through the pleasure and displeasure, well, in any way which you might wanna take it. These are things we call “memories”. I look back at them a lot. Not sure if it happens with you or not, a lot of times I rather seem to indulge myself in bitter memories than those I could possibly cherish. A lot of people around me complain about this. Yes, people who care, they just say it on my face. Sometimes to the extent of hurting me momentarily with their scuttlebutt, I rather choose to ignore it though. I know they don't mean anything but my good.

Concerning complains....... Well, they are not alone. I do complain about that quite often to myself as well. It’s one thing that I don’t really like about me, oh well, there are a lot of things that I don’t like and honestly, this is just one of them.

The other day I had a conversation with a friend, ummmmmm… A close friend I should say. Someone I don’t hesitate telling everything to, in short my 3 am friend. I say whatever I want to and be whoever I want to and still get away with everything.

As it happened I saw a picture that she had kept in one of her profiles, which in my opinion did not seem like a very good idea. So I just asked her. More because of curiosity than anything else.

Me: Why did you keep this picture?

Friend: Oh, that….. Well, it’s a memory and I feel some memories are to be kept and I think this is one of them.

Me; Fair enough. What if your boyfriend don’t like it.

Friend: Well, it’s up to my boyfriend to live with it, because it’s one thing that I can’t take away.

Me: For sure you can’t take it away and you never will be able to, but why keep them to remind yourself of those times. Doesn't make sense to me.

Okay, let me tell you. We are very close and we probably talk about everything and when I say everything, I mean everything. However there is one small glitch. We don’t seem to agree on anything, we are just the opposite. Be it our likings, hobbies, perception towards things, attitude and overall outlook about life. In short, if she's positive then I am negative, if she is South Pole then I am the North Pole. That's how we are.

I am more of a whiner but that of course doesn’t change anything. We fight, argue and end up being pissed with each other, sometimes proper pissed but the next day everything just seem to go away. The following day all seem to just go away like nothing ever happened to us.

Friend: Well, I think you are just being narrow minded here. It’s just a memory and nothing else, not like I wanna go back to the days but I just wanna keep it.

Me: Oh, me narrow minded?? (In a bit of sarcastic tone). If I were your boyfriend I would be proper pissed and I would not be fine until you take that away.

Friend: Now you are just being a typical guy. (Well, she can get just as much sarcastic when she wants to!!!!!!)

Me: Not being a typical guy, but I guess this is just not right and if I were your boyfriend, it would surely hurt me to know these memories are much more important than my feelings.

Friend: Oh, well you and your feelings.

Me; Yeah, I know, I think about myself just a bit too much and I am selfish. But sometimes you gotta be selfish. Let me as you one question.

Friend: Yeah, go ahead.

Me: Well, imagine I am your partner. Now tell me, if you remove that thing, then would it hurt you?

Friend: No.

Me: Well, it’d hurt me if you kept it.

Friend: That’s your problem then!!!!!!!!!!

Me: So, even after knowing that it would hurt me, you are not going to take that off.

Friend: NO. I will not take it off.

Me: Well, what can I say then? You know how I'd feel and the rest is up to you.

 Friend: Yeah. Fine.

That’s how we ended. Well, that’s how almost all arguments end, without    any conclusion but whole loads of apologies thrown from each sides.

That’s me. Love me or hate me, that’s who I am and I can’t probably change it. You might not agree with me on this and I know a lot of you won’t.

I might be naïve, a bit self centered and selfish, I however know a thing or two about memories. First, things that happen in the past, never goes away. Second, no one can forget what happened in the past whether good or bad. Third, what we all do is just learn from them, live with them and just move on. I strongly feel that’s how it should be.

There might be a lot of things that made you happy and you might cherish it all through your life. You don’t need to gloat about that though. Few things are okay to be kept and cherished, but what’s the point in showing everyone what kind of times you had back in those days, when you know all of that don't even matter to you anymore.

Disagree with me, it’s your wish and everyone is entitled to have their own opinion, I however have just a small question. What if your past brings discomfort to you present? Would you still live in it then? Or would you just move on? 

Simple questions, because I feel sometimes things of past should remain in the past. They should in no way, be brought to your present, especially if it brings any kind of discontentment in the present. Don't regret what you did in the past, because at that point of time it seemed the best thing to you. However learn to just move on and leave them behind when they are no longer important. Doesn't mean that you would in any way forget them. NO. that won't happen and will never happen. Rest assured about that. But why clinging onto them when you know holding on will not do any good. Sometimes it's better to leave what has happened and move on, no matter how lonely the road gets. If it doesn't do anything good to your present then it's better forgotten. I feel sometimes memories are worth the pain, but sometimes they are not.

Selfish, speaking like a typical guy? Yes, I may be, but I don’t do it and I wouldn’t like it if it happened to me.

Just a bit of thoughts or maybe things that I needed to get off from my chest. Relieved now and yeah, mind you....... I have no intentions of offending anyone whatsoever.

That’s it for now, I will be back to annoy you, you know I just can’t stay away from you for too long :P. Hope it's sooner rather than later though.

See you very soon. Till then take care and stay safe.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER 1

Hola!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am back. Hope you are all glad to see me. 

I had been meaning to talk to you about my adventure or rather dull time here at Ahmedabad for a while now. But as you might have guessed it, I had been busy and haven’t had much pleasure of using the laptop. Well, now that I am working and on a temporary basis I do have a desk of my own, I think it is going to change and I will be writing a lot more than this. Not that I have a lot of people who read this, but it’s just me who loves writing. So I will be back time to time. The hectic schedule at work cannot keep me away from writing.

When I got ready to leave I received a lot of heart warming messages from people around me and honestly they made all this a bit easier than it should have been. Oh, well if you don’t know about this then you probably should read few of the previous posts. You might have a better idea about it. But as I said, I will be talking about it in a more open manner sooner rather than later. So if you want, you can probably wait for it. I will be posting it soon.

So, here I am in Ahmedabad. God has been rather good to me all along, the journey was fine, though I felt just a bit lonely. I however reached the place safe and sound and with a heavy heart. To my amazement however I found one family I could stay with, nice people I should say and they have really been good to me. And I am thankful, however the pain of leaving home is always greater than anything else. Well, not exactly correct or something that you might agree to, but right now it seems to me so.

So, I have a roof above my head but not a home, I have people waiting for me when I return home from work but no family. Yeah, amidst all this I still feel a bit hollow and there seems to be a void inside, which always deepens during the weekends and honestly, I hate weekends here.

There is nothing to do on weekends, just stay at home and wait for Liverpool's match to start. And the worst thing, I have got no place to go and no one to visit. I wasn't one of those to visit people around back in Delhi, but here things have changed and now I wish if there was at least someone I could probably visit or something. Even, going to church seems like a fun idea right now, which never was an option for me back in Delhi.

Let me however tell you, that this family has done everything to make me feel at home and I have felt at home most of the times. I have everything here, TV, internet, food and I mean everything, the only thing missing is family and friends. Well,yeah, it's wrong for me to overlook the blessings sometimes however I rather seem too concerned about what I am missing than what I am getting here in this strangeland.

It’s been about two weeks now and I heard that I will be posted in a semi urban area in a few days time and I can imagine myself and the kind of time I would have for the next three months. But what else can I possibly say; things don’t always go the way we want them to. Sometimes things happen because there is an importance in our lives. Well, honestly, I am just trying to console myself. I am sad and a bit lost. Where would I go and who would I turn to. Everything just seem to fall apart. If something happens to me then who would take care of me? Now I am kind of emotional, and I don’t like it. I wish if there was a way I could change it all.

Hmmmmmmm….. My heart is heavy and I am just at the loss for words. I guess I need a lot of wishes right now. Hope it helps though.

I know it’s not the end and a lot of people have gone through it even before I knew about it. I am just a bit different here. I haven’t been a momma’s boy in my life but I am just a bit used to of being at home with my parents and family.

I think this is just to make me strong, and I certainly hope that it does, because if it doesn’t then things are gonna get really bad. I wouldn’t like it if that were to happen.

So, I guess it’s time to MAN the fuck up. Face everything with a smile and yes, life will throw challenges at me and I will take every friggin challenge from now on.

I guess this is just what I needed.

Ahmedabad done. Next Stop Dahot!!!! Here I come. Hope you be nice to me.

See you soon.

Saying goodbye twice in two weeks, not happy days around here, I must say. As I said it before, Goodbyes have never been my thing. I proper suck at this.  This time it's harder. First time I said goodbye two weeks back, I at least had a  glimmer of hope that there is someone I can rely on. This time around however, it's new place and new people. Don't know anyone there neither do I have any idea how am I going to stay there. So, it's a bit difficult.

But as they say,all good things must come to an end and so will this come to an end. Here I start the new journey and on my way to writing a new chapter in my life. I hope that this turns out to be one exciting affair. Fingers crossed and everything else that could possibly be closed.

Well, I will see Dahot very soon and you all sooner than that. Till then take care and stay safe.

“The lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear. The lord id the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid.”  Psamls 27:01. 
So, some Bible verses and few things to just keep me strong. Yeah, "You'll Never Walk Alone" the perfect song for moments like these, in fact the perfect song for every moment in life. So, yeah technically I am alone yet "Never Alone."
See you very soon. Till then take care and stay safe.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. - I miss home. I miss Delhi. I miss my folks and I miss YOU.