AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER VI MEET MY MATES.......

A month old in this city now and I am still taking things slowly and learning a lot of new things. Things are on the better side now. Been able to gel well with my roommates and it's been going quite good as of now. Though there are a lot of things that I have still not accustomed myself to, maybe because a lot of things here are way too different from Delhi. The lifestyle and everything. Things are just way too different. Well, what else can I expect this is a small town on the border of Gujarat. In all honesty however, this city is still better than what I had expected. Nothing against the city, but the name itself isn't really attractive. 

So, after a month, I have roommates and a place I can call home. A place I can return to in the evening saying “I am going home”. If you remember I had told you about the house and I believe you pretty much have an idea how the house looked like. Well, it is totally different now. It's clean and every sink has been sorted. So things are just fine with the house right now. I sometimes feel kind of lonely and awkward living with people I hardly know anything about. But these people have been quite nice, they've done quite well in making me feel comfortable and honestly, I do feel comfortable most of the time. Apart from odd times here and there in between, I am okay with it.

Okay, so I told you that all of them work in banks and the best part is, all of them have different, very different personality from each other. It ranges from being funny to being a bit oversmart. I mean, they are poles apart, which I think is a good thing as it makes staying there a bit more interesting. 

Alright, so the other two guys are quite fine, they are nice to talk and in every aspect they look and seem to be one of those normal bankers. Not much into their works, I don't mean that they are not hard working, they however are not one of those obsessive about their work. They do have a bit of sense of keeping work and life separated from one another. Apart from that they are quite nice to talk to, I mean, unlike the Boss of the house, these two can  strike up a sensible conversation, which always is a welcomed gesture to me. I like people with a good conversational skills, maybe because I suck at it. 

The "Boss of the house" is a different personality from others. Never met someone quite like him, he's one in million type of guy. Well, we call him "Sirji". Why????? Because, he is the oldest tenant in the house, he actually was the one who found out this house and the others joined him later on, like me. So, you could say he is the ultimate authority in the house and we don't interfere much in what he says. He also has a knack of not listening to people, not that he's rude or arrogant or something, he just don't listen to anyone and even if he does, he doesn't seem to take anything in consideration. 

Let me tell you a bit more about him. Though it hasn't been very long and I am yet to understand each one fully or know their personalities better. There are however a thing or two that I have so far observed. "Sirji" as we call him, is a kind of person who doesn't spend much of his money. I mean, I have seen him going through the entire day without even spending a single buck. Doesn't even drink a tea or coffee with his money. He's like if someone is willing to pay for him then he doesn't mind having but if he were to pay he'd rather not have it.

Okay, did I tell, that there is a TV in the house but no cable connection. So we other three discussed to have a cable connection and we agreed on it. We called the operator to come and get it done. But "Sirji" had different ideas. Oh, did I tell you how much the cable connection was for? 200 Bucks and we were supposed to share it equally, which he did not agree to, saying it's just a wastage of money. Come on, it's just 50 bucks. We even told him not to share it if he don't want, but then he'd say that it will just increase the electric bill. So after a long discussion he sent the cable guy back saying we don't want it. The rest of us could not say anything else, after all he's the Boss.

He's a kind of person, if you leave a light switch on he'd just go and turn it off without even asking if it's still in use or not. He'd just turn it off. He's like that, every night at exactly 10pm he'd just switch off the lights in the entire house. Why?? Because we don't need these lights on at night, it just increases the light bill and he doesn't want those extra expenses. Sometimes annoying, however no one says anything about it. So, I don't wanna be the one to always complain about things. 

Oh, well yeah, I had complained about a few things or two, when I entered the house initially. However I was told later that it was of no use so, I just sort of stopped it. He is a kind of person you just cannot indulge yourself in a meaningful conversation with. Half of the things that he says doesn't make sense and the other half, just plain useless things. He talks a lot though, mostly without making much of a sense and the other times he doesn't understands what we say, maybe because I don't make sense sometimes myself. So, it's of no use talking to him most of the times.

He's getting married on the first of February, and let me tell you, he is friggin excited about it. He'd sometimes bombard us with all kinds of questions. Like, who should be treated as the most important after marriage? What keeps a woman happy? How to keep married life and work life in a balance? Is it okay if my wife is not virgin? How would I find out if my wife is a virgin or not? Well, these are just one of those questions. I mean, how are we supposed to know all these. We are not even married and honestly, not even close to getting married. And sometimes it's better not to answer him, because if you do, then that would attract another question.

Oh, yeah I have not even told you the best thing yet. This weekend, I went to a hotel to stay a night there. I wanted to watch Liverpool's match, so I went, we're gonna talk about it later. On Sunday afternoon, he sends me a text.

Sirji: Our tiffin centre is closed, so wed need to eat somewhere else.

Me: Ok.

Sirji: Okay we'll go to Krishna Restaurant (The second best in the town) and eat there. This would be a Christmas party from your side.

Me: Okay. (Well I had no other option to be honest, after all it's our festival).

I mean I was so shocked when he sent me that. We hardly know each other, even if we knew, I don't think I'd be comfortable enough to ask him something like that. He however had no hesitation. Which was okay, but funny and a bit awkward.

The most annoying thing that he does is that, whenever in discussion about something, he'd speak in agreement only to change his mind later on  not to forget he's oversmart. He sometimes acts like he knows everything and sometimes speaks even when he doesn't.

So, this is the kind of people I live with. Glad that finally I am going home for Christmas and will be away from all these things. Really looking forward to eating home cooked food, honestly the food here is not bad but it's a bit too spicy for my liking. I mean for one or two days its fine, eating that every day however is a bit of a problem for me.

So, goodbye to all that for a week, I am going home. For the first time, Goodbye isn't hurting me. Thank God.

Well, I will see you soon. Till then take care and stay safe. 

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.- Finally, I am happy.

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER V NEW HOUSE BUT THE SAME OLD FEELINGS

“Life never promised to be a walk in the park and it will never be. There will be stones, thornes and everything thrown at you along the way. Times will test you and bring you to a point of breaking. It never promised it's going to be an easy ride. Life is everything, the choice is yours on how you wanna see it and how you wanna walk through this.”

After about a month of Hotel stay, I have finally found a house or sort of a house. I am supposed to stay with three guys. All of them working in different banks. Though it's not the most exciting thing, it however made most sense out of all the possible options I had.

Let me brief you with all the options I had. First, I can stay in the hotel for the entire three months time, though it's not gonna cost me huge bucks it's expensive however. Second, I can rent a room on my own. The glitch however is that I am here for just three months and no one would keep me as a tenant for that short time. Third, I can stay in a guest house, which is cheaper than a hotel. The problem however is that the guest house is in an area where I had been advised by my staff not to go or venture alone. So, staying there is a far cry.

Finally, after a long thought about it, I decided to move in to the house. Excited???? Hmmmmm... Not much, but the situation called for it, so it has to be done. I had no other real options left to be honest.

With my peon, I went to the hotel checked out from there, paid the bill and headed straight to the room. Okay, upon entoring the house what I saw seemed to me like a nightmare. The house was filthy and it's not an exaggeration. It looked as if no one ever entered the room for years let alone clean it. Mattresses all over the place and clothes hanging here and there, dust all over the place and the worst, every sink was blocked and water clogging in each of them. Hmmmmmm....Thoughts of going back to the hotel hit me hard, but I had no other options as the hotel had been booked in advance from  8^th to the 20^th of December. I couldn't go back there either anyway.

So, I left my stuff there and went back to work, hoping that things will work out in the evening. I seriously needed to talk to the other guys. I mean the condition of the house was just a bit too bad for anyone to live in and I am not sure how they'd been doing that for all that time. Nevermind, reached office and it's an usual day at the bank. Talking to clients, opening account, verifying transactions etc.

Not this but the house looked something like this.

Returned home quite tired and spoke with the guys, first, small bit of intrduction with the guys. Let me tell you, this is going to be interesting. Each person with a very different personality and attitude towards things and life. Ummmmmm... Well, we'll talk about these people in detail later on. Even I need to know them better to write something about them anyway. With a bit of uncomfort, I went in, changed and sat down with them for a while. We talked for a while, then I realized I needed to buy few things, so we went to the market. It was just about 10-15 walking distance and these people prefer walking than taking an auto or a cab. I got myself a mattress and a few things neccessary for my use. Then I cleaned my supposed area and made my bed. Well, I asked them to do it as well. Honestly, I am a buit fussy about all these things. It was not in any way about being a new guy speaking too much, but this was something that had to be done. So everyone did. By 11pm at night, the house looked a bit better. Hmmmm...... At least I could sleep there now. So I slept.

After a while of living there, now not just the house looks livable but it's kind of clean now. Happy with it. The house is not bad, in fact it's very good, the locality is good and the people around there are pretty decent. Landlord seems to be a great man. He'd ask me every day if there is any problem or something. He'd always tell me “you are an out of towner, you don't look like us and people's behaviour towards you is not always going to be good. Some will taunt you, some will tease you or some will just pull a trick or two.” Well, this is what happens to us in most part of this country. Kind of used to of it now, however it never ceases to piss me off whenever it happens.

He'd go on to add “if you never need any help, just ask us straight and don't hesitate. You are my guest and it's my responsibility to take care of you”. Well, just the kind of words you want to hear in a place you don't know anything about. How much of a help they'd be, I am not sure. However saying that is enough for me to make me feel better and I felt better for sure.

The usual routine of waking up, going to office, coming back in the evening and having dinner at night. Oh well, yeah, dinner..... We eat our dinner by 7 or 7.30pm at night. Can you imagine 7.30 and dinner done. Even I was kind of shocked when they took me to eat at 7.00pm. My roommates come from work and head directly to the mess to eat. Well, maybe that suits them, but me, I frigging sleep at 00.30 am not at 10.00pm like them. Yeah, they sleep at 10 pm. Believe it or not. I used to eat dinner at 10pm in the hotel. Hmmmm.... That's gonna take a bit of extra effort to adjust to.

This is how I am still feeling, only sometimes though

There are a lot of things that needs to be sorted, from my side as well and their side at the same time, but we all share one thing in common. We all work in banks and all don't like our Managers. Don't know if that happens in every bank but all of us don't see eye to eye with our respective Managers for different reasons. At the end of our working hours we always find an hour or two to discuss about what goes inside our respective banks and how we deal with people and stuff. So, you can say so far it has been a smooth ride at the new house for me. Gelling well with the roomies and adapting well to the change in eating routine and sleeping as well.

The Guys are pretty decent and quite well mannered to be honest. I mean yeah, they live a lifestyle which is way different from mine, but they don't seem to complain about anything. Oh, well neither do I. Maybe because it's just been few days but there seems to be a kind of mutual respect among us. So, all is not bad around here.

The only problem is, these people live close by, well at least for me they live very near. Their houses are like 100km away from here, about  hours drive to be precise and I live frigging 1000km away from here and it takes friggin 14 hours to get there. You see what I am saying is, every weekend they all go to their homes and spend the weekend there. Which simply means that on weekends I am going to be alone. As I told you before, weekends are the time when I feel lonely the most. I can't however help it. They have a family and they need to see them just like I do.  Normally everything looks fine on the outside but inside it's all the same. I mean at the hotel I felt the same. Weekdays are fine as I work and sleep early so time just flies by. Weekends however has a different story to tell. Wake up and stay at home the entire day all by myself and sleep alone. It's not something I am very good at and it's gonna take a while for me to get used to. So, I have finally founf a home with few people to live with. Still the same feeling of loneliness stays. Things have got better for sure, however nostalgia grips me sometimes and I know, it will do so for a long time to come. Whether I like it or not, I will have to live like this for a while. So, it's the best for me to get accustomed to it sooner rather than later. Trying my best. Yeah I am.

Everything said and done, it's been more than a month since I have left home and yeah, adjusting slowly everyday. Everyday there is something new for me to learn, some new things that I need to get myself accustomed to and something new that I need to tell my parents to. There is always something new. This has so far been quite a good journey and I hope to get maximum out of it.

Christmas is knockin on the door now and I am still not sure about going home or not. I think I will but still there is a small bit of doubt that I might not be able to. I don't want to get into all that right now. I will rather just wait and see what happens and then maybe let you know about it.

That's it for now. Will see you soon. Till then take care and stay safe.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER IV LIVING WITH STRANGERS…….. MAYBE NOT

It's been about three weeks now since I reached this place. I am still in the hotel. Things are better now and everything is coming along quite nicely and smoothly now. Still in the hotel means, that I will not be missing any Liverpool match, and still up to date about what happens in the world of football. The only thing I crave for is internet connection and a laptop.

Okay first of all, let me congratulate my hero “Lionel Messi”. I guess everyone knows that he has broken the 40 years old record set by Gerd Mueller. Great achievement from the maestro. Whatever people might say, Messi is the best and his greatness cannot be denied. Even if he doesn't win a Worl Cup, for me he will be the best ever. I have not seen Pele, neither do I care about him much, and I have not seen Maradona playing either. From the footage I saw, I can make out both were exceptional but for me, Messi is the best. Period.

Okay enough of football... Let's move on to my experiences. Here I go.

Living alone can really help in experiencing new things. I have been through that kind of experience for past three weeks now. It's been a good learning phase so far.

Living in the hotel means I'd be eating with strangers every day, which I have been doing for past three weeks. Well, there is one familiar face that I bump into once or twice every week, apart from him, I have been eating with different set and kind of people every day.

Some just don't bother about anything and they just get to the business, eat and leave. While there are others, well....... Curious people, who care to ask where I am from and what I am doing here. And few with a good sense of conversation. So, you can say every dinner outing means, slight or long conversation, which stretches way beyond dinner time.

I haven't had any bad experience so far in this city, bar from one off incident when a guy refused to sit on the same table with me. Reason? He's Hindu Brahmin, a pure vegan lad and I, a tribal from Manipur. That was one off incident, apart from that, nothing of that sort has happened so far. As i told you, the people here are humble.

So, every day I interact with someone or the other. Our conversation ranges widely from Politics, Religion, Marriage and life in general. I mean everything. Interacting with these people gives a very good insight about their minds and their perception about things and life. A lot of people here don't know where Manipur is and when I tell them I am from Manipur, the first question they ask me “Which country is it in?” I don't blame them either. I understand, the part of country where I come from is not very popular and most of the people don't know anything about. And those who know about it, know just a bit too much that sometimes it becomes embarrassing at some point of time. Well, to know what I am talking about then just do a bit of research about Manipur and you'd know everything.

I have met some people, who can really conversate. Though not much educated, but still they have the knowledge about things and they are willing to expand it. While some of them just ask stupid questions, to which I usually have no answers. I do however try to prolong the conversation just as much as possible. Honestly, I love interacting with new people. It helps me in a lot of ways as well. First thing, I have told you I have never been confident about myself, well talking to people help me work on that. Second thing, it helps in building conversational skills. Soon enough I am going to deal with the customers a bit more than this and my job will no longer be just limited to opening accounts and verifying transactions for the day but I will soon be handling people seeking loans and everything. In the long run, these little conversations are going to help and I know it.

Most of the evening is well spent with people from different fields and areas and conversating with them. There have been few evenings though, when I sit alone and eat. That is when I don't feel like talking and when I miss home. When I feel like getting away from all these hustle-bustle, then I just go to “Feel Good Restaurant”. Situated just below the hotel I stay in, this is the best Restaurant in town. Who's who of every field come here and only the rich dine here. The place is quite decent and expensive for the city's standard. It's never crowded and I always manage to get a table alone. Sometimes in the corner and the others in the centre. I have never talked to anyone there, but have been through a lot of uncomfortable stares coming my way.

By the way they look at me, it seems obvious that these people are curious about me, but they just never come up for any conversation or anything. Yeah, and when someone stares at me, I really feel uncomfortable. I just avoid them, or at least try to and just get busy with my phone most of the time. But in all honesty, I like the place; the only problem is this place doesn’t serve non-veg food. It's been a month since I haven't had one of those and I am dying to have one of those meals at home.

Enough about the meals, the more I talk about it, the more I crave for it. It’s better if we just let this one be.

So it’s everyday job of mine to sit in a hotel and either talk to someone or listen to what people are talking about. They all talk in Gujarati I can however make out what they are talking about. Some discuss their family problems and some discuss business. Some discuss girls and drinks, some discuss studies. Amidst all these, there were few who managed about a sentence or two about me. They don’t usually look at me while they do, I can still make out what they are doing. Well…. I am smart like that. Just kidding, I know I am not.

Every day for about 30-45 minutes I connect to a lot of strangers inside one room, listen to them, sometimes empathize with them, sometimes laugh at them, sometimes feel sorry for them, sometimes feel happy for them and sometimes I cannot help but be angry at them. And sometimes I cannot help but be inspired by their stories. Well, some of them are really inspiring. I get to all these feelings in without even talking to them. It’s strange sometimes to connect with so many lives and even more so, knowing that I have never spoken to them.

Sometimes, few people leave a kind of mark that I can’t help but think about them while going back. Then I can’t help but think “well I am not the only one who is not happy with the life”. There are millions of people like that in the whole world, just that I don’t know what they go through and what they do. There will surely be people who might be living much more miserable life than I am.

These little dinner night outs taught me a lot of things and I am thankful to all these people. Learning from these people every night about a thing or two. Do I still feel that I am still living with strangers…… Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm…. Maybe not.

Well.... That's it for now. I will see you very soon. Just got a news that I might be sent to Delhi for some training program. I hope they do. It seems it's two weeks training starting from the 17^th December. Just hoping that they send me.

Pray for me. See you very soon. Till then take care and stay safe. Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHMEDABAD DIARIES: CHAPTER III WELCOME DECEMBER

“Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain.

Though your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on. With hope in your heart.

And you'll Never walk alone. You'll never walk alone.”

It's December and I guess you all have guessed how I might be feeling right now. So.... I thought of starting with a song that constantly gives me hope through despair. A song that has been constantly telling me to walk on with hope in my heart.

In continuation to my stay here. It's just been a week, but seemed awfully long to me. From waking up at 1 pm to waking up at 8 am. From being with my family and asking them to do everything I wanted to being alone and doing everything on my own. From dining with family to dining with strangers inside the hotel. Things are changing and how they are changin. All I can say is, everything is changing a bit too fast for me. Sometimes it's hard for me to take it in my grasp but I am trying my best to adjust to it. Adjusting in rather well I should say.

Things have changed. This boy is finally on his way to becoming a man. No more behaving like a kid, no more being taken care of. It's not easy, but it is for the good and it has so far brought more good than bad. Loneliness and nostalgia might take a grip on me on certain occasions, I wouldn't say things have been all too bad during this time.

Let me tell you something about this place anyway, though I am sure that it's not going to be the most interesting thing you've ever read. This place sucks in every department. Mind you, I am not exaggerating about it. This is a fact. The place might suck, the people here however are rather humble. Most of them illiterate and just about able to write their names. The branch as I said is a small one and there is not much to do. This is not one of those regular Banks you go to, where people flock in groups the whole day. It's just different, maybe because of the locality. They say it's a tribal area and so does it seem to me. Most of the people are either self-employed or are into agricultural activities. So i reckon you could guess the kind of customers I deal with.

It sometimes annoys the shit out of me, when everyone comes in with a blank form in their hands. I understand they don't know how to fill it up but as a human I sometimes do feel annoyed when they ask for it every now and then. I guess I am entitled to one or two odd moments of losing my cool here. There is a good thing about these people however, as i told you before, they are illiterate and humble, so they know how to respect people. Really, I mean no one gives a shit about a Bank Manager but these people do.

It happened once, while I was out to have dinner at night I bumped into one of our clients. I did not recognize him but he did. He straight came to me, greeted me and introduced me with his entire family. All the while, they were very polite and nice. I kinda liked it, I mean who would not.

Things are kind of running smooth at work, I get along well with everyone here and the work is light, so everything's okay on the work front. I will not complain about it. I am in fact lucky to be unlucky. People often complain about the workload and the shits they go through in the Bank job. But here it's all different. No work load, no pressure. Learning things at my pace. I forgot to tell you that I am a very slow learner and I have been lucky that people around me have been rather patient about it as well. So, I am learning......................... However very slow and gradually. Taking a small step each day. One more thing, the kind of work I do needs precision and I don't wanna take any chances as well. One mistake can lead to a serious shit. So, not rushing into anything but just slowly taking baby steps each day.

Slowly the winter is approaching, though it's not cold here but December means, it's Christmas time. Christmas means being with family, having a good time and creating memories. This time it doesn't look like it's gonna happen for me. Already disheartened with that. Everyday I speak with my folks at home and everyone tells me, it's cold and it has set the mood for Christmas already, though it's still a good 20 odd days away, but people have already started playing Christmas songs, singing Carols and most of all, the Advent Christmas programmes in every Church. I am missing out on a lot of thing and I look set to miss being at home on Christmas day as well.

It's already killing me to know that I will for sure miss it and I am looking set to go through a long December. Do I miss home? Yeah I friggin do. If God granted me one wish, then I'd wish for a time with my family. A time, to be with my folks and not have to leave home again.

I sometimes feel life is being cruel to me. Not blaming the guy above though. I mean, just imagine, we are six siblings, one big family. Constant visits from friends and cousins were the part of growing up stages. But now, everything's changed. Each one of us is away from home and busy with our respective lives. I can tell Mom and Dad would be missing those days a lot and so are we. I mean none of us is used to living away from home, and that includes my Dad as well. So you can tell, everyone's feeling just the same way I am and I think we are entitled to be frustrated once in a while about how the life has turned out for us so far, not every time though.

When we were kids we always talked about our wishes and what we wanted to do when we grow up. Having a respectable job was the top priority for everyone and not to forget living together forever. Well, we all got our first wish granted and the second however, looks highly unlikely. Especially when we all have jobs that guarantee change in location every now and then.

Ahhhhhh.... After all, we are humans, never satisfied with what we get, always looking and wishing for more. That is what I am doing right now. All the while I wished that I get myself a decent job and now that I have it I wished if it was the kind of job where I wouldn't have to leave home. That's how I am and that's how we all are. Always wanting more that what we have.

Never mind, so here I am look set to spend my first Christmas away from home. I am gonna miss home for sure and miss a lot of things. I wouldn't blame myself if I cry a tear or two during this time. As a human, I guess I can do that. I am not ashamed to cry as well, it doesn't make me a girl for sure and hiding my emotions does not make me a man. It does however makes living with frustrations a bit more easier and takes the load off from your shoulders. It's okay to cry......... Lads, always remember this. Cry when you feel like.

Still amidst all these, I have not given up on the hope that I get holidays and go home. Honestly, I am still secretly planning my travels and checking train schedules every now and then. However  even if I get home I am sure that I will not be ther for long, just maybe a day or two, but that will work just fine for me. I can live with that, but not being home on Christmas. That would just be a bit too much to handle for me.

Holidays and I need to be home for Christmas. I really do.

Hoping and praying that it happens for me, if it does then I would be the happiest man. Aha!!!!!!! That was a bit out of line I guess. Let me rephrase myself here....... Oh well............ It would make me really happy. And to sum everything up....... I wanna see myself happy.

That's it for now. Will see you soon. Till then take care and stay safe. Happy Holidays.

Adios!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. - Pray for me, I really need those right now. Thank you. This should have been published a long time back.