It's
just so funny. People who do trust must think that I am crazy and infact I
really am. Crazy I might be, but I can honestly say that I trust no
one, not especially after what I have gone through in the recent times - and
I HATE this feeling. I am so scared to trust anyone, that
I just can't bring my walls down.
I
wouldn't say that I have put my trust in some of the WORST people on earth
but I have had my heart handed back, not only shredded, ripped, barbecued but
skewered and served back to me by the people I trusted the most.
Even
though, every time I have let my guard down and let someone in, it's
bitten me in the arse. In short you could say that every time I trusted
someone, I have always been made to regret my decision. Not that I'm saying
that I am and have been through the worst times, but yeah, it surely is the
phase that I am not enjoying at the moment.
I
think that if I had ONE wish right now - if God could hear just
ONE wish from me -- I would probably ask for someone I can talk to,
someone I can look up to when the world turns against me, one person that
I can trust - who wants nothing in return. The kind of person who
you can call at 3am with no worries, can show up and talk to at anytime. The
kind that smiles when you come to see them.
I know
that this isn't going to happen and I know that if anyone could have one
wish from God, it should be to stop all wars, end homelessness, feed the poor,
have world peace or something of that kind.
I guess
today I am being selfish and I know it. But sometimes you gotta be selfish
to get what you want.
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