DEATH: THE INEVITABLE TRUTH

 
I had been sick for about two weeks now and haven't been able to write anything. First, I did not have the strength to sit in front of computer and second, I just couldn’t get my thoughts processed in a proper manner. The only thought stemming inside my mind, when will I be fine again. This is so friggin annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two weeks of no football, no writing and not doing anything can really take its toll. Now I am almost frustrated, but a bit better now.
So, I will take this time and use it to the fullest. And no, I will not be playing, just writing.
I don’t fall sick very often, but when I do then it’s always a serious one. So this time as well, started with a fever, which stayed for about ten days and just when I thought I am getting better, my ear problem, a recurring one, came back to trouble me once again.
The ear problem has hung around for a long time now, been seeing specialist for it. All they do is give me some ear drop or antibiotics. Tired of using all that to be honest.
I almost forgot, I was not here to talk about my fever or ear problems. Apologies for that.
Well, when I fall sick, which as you know is a rarity, all kind of thoughts crawl inside my mind. Why?? For one reason that whenever I fall sick I either need to be hospitalized or have to take bed rest for 3 weeks. You can say I have a knack of quality illness which needs the advice of a specialist more often than not.
It’s these times when I just can’t help but think that I could die any time now. Funny?? Sometimes I find it funny too and it, in fact is a bit funny coming out from a lad. For one simple reason, I always believed that lads are supposed to be tough. Well, I am tough on most things but not this one. This has been my weakness for as long as I remember.
So now, back on the thoughts, death to be precise. It depresses me sometimes when I think that I am going to die one day. Yes, I am going to and I accept it. I might love my time out here but I just have to leave one day.
Depressing for everyone but not avoidable, it’s the reality that everyone must face, unless of course you are God incarnated like in those Hindu mythology (No puns intended to anyone though!!).
The thought of death brings few questions in my head, every friggin time.
How many people will come at my funeral?
How many will actually cry because they are sad to see me leave?
How many will visit my grave every year?
Kind of stupid questions to ask, I however cannot help it because I don’t think I have done anything worth remembering neither have I been a good influence to anyone for that matter.
For most of my life I’ve been a loner and hardly socialized, so you probably understand where and why these questions are coming up.
Momma always said it’s not good to think or talk about all this, sometimes I just can’t help but to indulge in a bit of it. It’s not because I am a killjoy or something, but mostly I get to these thoughts because I know it’s one reality that I cannot avoid no matter how much I wanted to.
It does depress me sometimes, but I have learnt to live with it, I guess.
Everyone is certain to leave this world one day or the other, no one can stop it. So why not try to live it while we have it. Yes!!!!!!!! It’s coming from a lad who has been more or less engrossed in self pity for all his life. I do love life though, no matter where it leads me to.
You are born, you grow up, you make friends and do things which you like and one day it’ll all end. No matter how many times you tell yourself that you are going to die one day, when the day comes it’ll always shock you and put you to a grave sadness and a sense of loss. That’s an assurance.
There are things we don’t want to happen, but have to accept and learn to live with it. There are things we don’t want to know but have to learn and there are people we can’t live without, but have to let go. That’s the painful truth. The older and wiser you grow, the more people you know are gone. Like a friend said “Life isn't meant to be pretty so don't expect the end of it to be pretty either. We live to die”. No matter what you do, say or think you’re going to go the other side one day. But life would still go on with or without you, sounds harsh but it’s veracity and there is probably no other way of putting this as well. That brings me to a question, would there be any difference after you're gone?
As the old saying goes “You come into the world crying and everyone else around you laugh and smile, you should spend your life in a way that when you leave, you leave with a smile on your face and tears in everyone’s eyes.”
(Don't remember the exact phrase, heard it when I was very young. Apologies if it's wrong somewhere!!!!!!!)

Every time you wake up in the morning ask yourself, what good things am I going to do today. When the sun goes down it will take a part of your life and I am sure you would want that part to be cherished rather than loathed. It’s your life, spend it wisely, take your time and think about how you have spent your life so far. Take time out to reflect on your actions. Then ask yourself. What would change the world around you…… Your life or your death?